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Don't Sleep With Mean People

from The Rap Guide to Evolution Revised by Baba Brinkman

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Inspired by Lysistrata:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata

lyrics

Yeah, this one goes out to the ladies!
Yeah, citizens of the world,
Let me tell you how it works if you’re new to this.
You can change it for the better:
Vote with your uterus!

Sexual selection is twisted; it’s not balanced
It gives us the best of our gifts and odd talents
Anything that’s useless for survival like music
Anything attractive, that charms and seduces
Like language usage, my vocab is so fab
I spin a web with it, and the centre is my gonads
It’s nothing but a mating dance I can admit it
But I can’t escape it, no chance, I’m locked in it
Like a tree, deep rooted, so people see through it
I’m a freak by nature thanks to evolution
But so are you, the relevant dramas that you’re goin’ through
Sexual selection selected them too
So if you feel the hormone rush, testify!
Try to see things objectively, but don’t objectify
It’s the eyes, they can’t take the pressure
They try to stare at your breasts but I can make an effort
The hours pass, my power’s sapped
I can’t choose an oblong physique over an hourglass
So it might seem like “mean” includes me
You can’t choose what to want, but you can choose what to eat

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, think about your granddaughters and grandsons
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
Mean people hold the gene pool for ransom

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, don’t reward your kids for throwin’ tantrums
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
If you wanna take the pledge, get your hands up

So what if we really did it, this silly business?
I mean use sex appeal to make a real difference
Like a field mission, to seek and enjoy
It’s gotta be the most powerful tool we can employ
We don’t need Freud; Darwin has the answers
Sexual selection can enhance us
Let’s make a competition out of altruism
If someone gives enough to charity, you’d better frolic with them
Generosity should be rewarded
And celibacy enforced on those who try to keep and hoard it
Of course I’m speaking mostly to women
‘Cause when it comes to reproduction you control the system
Men have a supporting role to play
But where you lead, best believe we’ll follow with no complaint
It’s time for a gender-based intifada
Aristophanes got it right with Lysistrata
More than two millennia ago, women in the know
Realized that it’s a lie that ‘men are in control’
So ladies, please, every time you fornicate
Just keep in mind, the future is yours to shape

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, think about your granddaughters and grandsons
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
Mean people hold the gene pool for ransom

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, don’t reward your kids for thrown’ tantrums
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
If you wanna take the pledge, get your hands up

credits

from The Rap Guide to Evolution Revised, released June 26, 2011
D. Brinkman, S. Kendall
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Guitars: Tom Van Deursen

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Baba Brinkman New York, New York

Science rapper and inventor of several novel hip-hop variants. Canadian transplant to New York. Pathological optimist.

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